Cuando en Tennessee
A faded, yet disturbing scene from the mid 2000s pops up on the big screen. We appear to be outside the high, cyclone wire fence of a prison ground. In this scene, the first thing we can see are the sights and sounds of a furious mob assembled just outside the fence line, being forced further back by a riot squad to their chagrin. A voiceover of a raspy, evil laugh rings in over the top of the commotion, and then a familiar voice speaks.
"¿No es encantador? Solo tienes que amar a la multitud hipócrita de idiotas a quienes les gusta reunirse afuera durante una ejecución. ¡La psique humana es algo muy espléndido!"
(Isn't it lovely? You just have to love the hypocritical crowd of idiots who like to gather outside during an execution. The human psyche is a many splendored thing!)
Picket signs are abundant outside the walls of Riverbend Penitentiary. As the camera pans across, three of them stand right out.
"FRYDAY"
"DIE MILA DIE"
"WE HOPE IT HURTS!"
Voiceover: "Hijos de puta, seguro que se salieron con la suya. Me masacraron allí. ¡Cruel e inusual es tal eufemismo que lo considero un insulto!"
(Motherfuckers, they sure got their way. They massacred me there. Cruel and unusual is such an understatement that I consider it an insult!)
The crowd in the clip suddenly burst into uproarious cheers as the lights inside the building begin to flicker and blink, and it can only mean one thing. Much like a wild fever dream, the fans in the arena are appalled as they witness, just for a split second, a hooded figure on fire as she writhes violently against the restraints before we cut away to spinning newspaper headlines quickly flashing across the screen:
"MILA D'ORTEGA: "Was it an electrocution or a cremation?"
"BOTCHED EXECUTION: Former professional wrestler, 37, burnt to death"
"SYNTHETIC SPONGE RULED AS THE CULPRIT"
Finally, the sounds of the audience's horror cuts you like a knife as her autopsy photo flashes. There is absolutely nothing left of her. It's actually a relief when the scene flips and we are suddenly confronted by the smirking figure of Suicida herself. Apart from a single candle, this room is so dark that we can only just make her out. The sense of foreboding that the fans feel is rather obvious, as the masked Puerto Rican lurks toward the camera from her darkened hiding place. She seems to glow, despite the darkness.
Suicida: No nos engañemos ni por un segundo, ¿de acuerdo? Es totalmente apropiado. Porque yo mismo soy extraordinariamente cruel. ¡También soy ciertamente inusual!
(Let's not kid ourselves for a second, okay? It is totally appropriate. Because I myself, am extraordinarily cruel. I am also certainly unusual!)
Suicida gets up really close, and she cocks her head to the side. She smirks arrogantly as she throws her arms out in a shrug.
Suicida: Entonces, ¿cuál de ustedes va a ser?
(So. Which one of you is it going to be, huh?)
That evil, raspy laugh of Suicida's is enough to unnerve you, let alone the fact that she seems to glow with energy.
Suicida: He estado atrapado dentro de esta maldita cosa, durmiendo, esperando el día.
(I have been trapped inside this fucking thing, laying dormant, just waiting for the day).
Suicida points to her mask, and then runs her hands up and down the midsection of her 'vehicle'
Suicida: Es bueno estar vivo. ¿No es así, putita sucia?
(It's good to be alive. Isn't it, you dirty little whore?)
The fans BOOO as Suicida smacks herself across the face brutally.
Suicida: DIOS MÍO. Ella es mi viva imagen. ¡Pero es una pequeña vagabunda repugnante! De todas formas. Ya basta de tu estúpido amiguito.)
(My GOD. She is my spitting image, but she is one disgusting, little tramp! Anyway. Enough about your stupid little friend..)
Suicida lets out a slow, angered sigh before she proceeds to scream at the camera once more.
Suicida: No tengo prisa, pozos negros burbujeantes de humanidad inferior. Porque siempre supe una cosa. Un día dulce, vendría una perra estúpida con una curiosidad impetuosa. Sabía que ella me encontraría y que no podría resistir la tentación. ¡Porque es una idiota estúpida!
(I am in no rush, you bubbling cesspools of inferior humanity. For, I always knew one thing. One sweet day, some stupid bitch with an impetuos curiosity would come along. I knew that she would find me, and that she could not resist the allure. It is certainly a special breed of stupid!)
Suicida's black void eyes narrow behind that mask as she reverts to a growled, hushed tone. Her accent really makes the words hang heavy in the air.
Suicida: ¿Sabía desde el principio que a través de este estúpido coño a mi disposición? Literalmente podría incendiar el mundo. ¡Al igual que el mundo me quemó tan felizmente! Las alimañas de la Redención están en un mundo de mierda que es materia de sus pesadillas más graves. Eres absolutamente impotente para detenerlo. Como este idiota.
(I knew from the beginning, that with this stupid little cunt at my disposal, I could literally set the world on fire. Just like this world so happily burned me! The vermin of Redemption are in a world of shit that is the stuff of their worst nightmares. You are absolutely powerless to stop it. Like this idiot..)
A blinding flash crackles forth from Suicida's hand, completely taking the camera picture out, but not the audio. The fans BOOO as the camera falls and we hear the camera crewmember cry out in pain before the segment fades to black.
J.J Adams: D...did she just..?
Johnson McConnell: What do you think, Adams? Good riddance. That guy was a dong..
Truffle Up
A camera follows Chance Field at a distance, though he’s clueless to this, not realizing he’s airing live. He steps into the catering area, glances around, then finds who he’s looking for; the head of catering. Chance approaches her.
Chance Field: Cindy, how’d it go?
Cybil Keene: Name’s Cybil.
Chance Field: It doesn’t matter, Cindy. Just answer the question.
She rolls her eyes.
Cybil Keene: He looked interested, but he didn’t take a single bite.
Chance Field: You’re kidding me?! I gave you all that money. I spent a fortune to upgrade catering today to be top of the line. I see lobster, filet mignon, duck, kobe beef. I even shelled out money for you to buy winter black truffles at $800 a pound, and Fat Ass Jack didn’t eat?!
Cybil Keene: Not a bite. Can’t make him eat.
Chance Field: If you knew how to cook, you could. That’s the problem here. It’s not his self control, it’s you’re disgusting cooking!
Cybil Keene: I’ll have you know my restaurant here in Sacramento has won many awards. My cooking is perfectly fine.
Chance laughs.
Chance Field: And how much did that cost you? Your life savings, or a shot in the throat? You know what, don’t answer that, just get out of my sight. And Yelp’s going to hear about this.
She just stands there glaring at him. Chance waves her on.
Chance Field: Be gone. You’ve already wasted enough of my time and money.
She curses under her breath, the word “asshole” audible as she walks away.
Fifteen Minutes of Rawlings
The feed cuts back to ringside.
JJ Adams: Next up folks, we have the first ever “15 Minutes of Rawlings.”
Johnson McConnell: I wonder what he is going to do, this week to week to make us all feel uncomfortable.
Jayden Skiles: I miss peak Rawlings. That was a guy you could root for. His tactics used to be great to watch… Now it’s just boring shock and awe bullshit.
JJ Adams: Say what you will about it, it achieved what he wanted, and he is heading to the ring now.
“Champion” by Grinspoon plays over the speaker and the crowd breaks out into a boo.Stephen Rawlings steps out wearing his “Good Enough Isn’t: Perfect is!” T-shirt, and a pair of wrestling tights. He has a smug look on his face and waves at the booing crowd. He saunters down to the ring and yanks the mic out of Trinity Nicole’s hand and then climbs into the ring with it.
Stephen Rawlings: Yeah yeah yeah… Boo all you want. It’s not going to harsh my mood. I have been working hard all night to bring you the greatest 15 minutes of entertainment you all have ever seen…. And I think I have found the perfect formula to bring in the highest ratings ever. A match with me! The greatest wrestler ever!
The crowd boos louder.
Johnson McConnell: Maybe greatest cheater ever.
Jayden Skiles: Yes! That’s quite an accomplishment for him!
Stephen Rawlings looks at the commentary table.
Stephen Rawlings: Stop talking! I can fucking hear you!
Jayden and Johnson look at each other and close their mouths.
Stephen Rawlings: That’s better.
He turns back to the crowd.
Stephen Rawlings: Tonight, you all get treated to a match with two wrestling legends as I introduce you all to my opponent for this evening… CROSS DELANEY!
Cross Delaney’s entrance music plays and he walks out to the ring. The crowd boos but not as loud as they were just doing for Rawlings. Cross makes it to the ring, and the two nod….
Referee Zack Rhodes steps into the ring and Stephen Rawlings sets the mic down in the corner. The two wrestlers meet in the middle of the ring, and the ref calls for the bell.
Johnson McConnell: Now that we are allowed to speak again, let’s see what kind iof circus this is going to be.
Jayden Skiles: I think this is fantastic booking. Two seasoned veterans should make for a great highly competitive match.
JJ Adams: Cross starting the match by going for a grapple- And what’s this?
Cross goes for a grapple but then stands up straight and holds his back. He falls to the mat and Stephen shrugs and goes for the pin.
JJ Adams: And Stephen goes for the pin.
Johnson McConnell: You’ve got to be kidding me!
The ref surprised, drops down and goes for the count after Rawlings scoops the leg.
1…..
2…..
3….
JJ Adams: And Stephen Rawlings has won his first match since the return of Redemption.
Johnson McConnell: Can we really call this win?
Jayden Skiles: In the record books, hell yeah.
Stephen hops to his feet and grabs the microphone.
Stephen Rawlings: Producers… Keep the cameras rolling… I should still have about 12 minutes left, and I plan on using all of it, because I’m not giving you all just 1 match tonight…. But I plan on breaking the world record of matches won in 15 minutes….
Zack and Cross both look over at him surprised.
Stephen Rawlings: Ring the bell ref! The ref looks at Cross who shrugs and he motions for the bell to ring.
Stephen runs towards to the ropes, bounces off of them and then flips on top of Cross, and goes for the pin.
The ref drops for the count.
1…
2….
3…
The ref sighs and calls for the bell.
JJ Adams: And Stephen Rawlings wins again.
Johnson McConnell: This is a disgusting abuse of power.
Jayden: I think it’s brilliant. This is the Rawlings I was talking about.
Rawlings motions for the bell again and the ref obliges. Stephen stands up and stomps Cross once with a boot and then rolls him up for the pin… The ref who’s stayed down counts.
1….
2…
3…
The ref motions for the bell.
JJ Adams: And Rawlings wins a third time!
Johnson McConnell: Are you really going to say that every time he wins?
Jayden Skiles: Leave him alone. That’s his job.
Stephen Rawlings: AGAIN!
The ref calls for the bell. Rawlings lays on top of Cross, who just stays flat on the mat. The ref counts him down… Again…
1….
2…
3….
The ref calls for the bell.
JJ Adams: And Stephen wins again!
Johnson McConnell: Can’t someone do something to stop this?
Jayden Skiles: No! That’s what’s so genius about this… Unless it’s a title match, NO ONE can interfere with what he does!
Johnson McConnell: But this can’t be ethical.
Jayden Skiles: This is Stephen Rawlings we are talking about here. You think he cares about ethics?
The ref calls for the next match to begin.
Stephen who is still on top of Cross, rolls up his leg for the next pinfall…
The ref counts….
1....
2….
3….
The ref calls for the bell.
JJ Adams: And Stephen Rawlings gets the win!
Johnson McConnell: This guy! I can’t even!
The ref calls for the bell to begin the next match and this time Stephen pins Cross with just one finger.
1….
2….
3….
The ref calls for the bell.
JJ Adams: And Stephen wins five straight!
Johnson McConnell: It looks like even the ref is getting tired of this.
Jayden Skiles: Cross looks comfy though. He might be taking a nap, a man of his age.
The next match begins. Stephen does the Captain Morgan pose for his next pinfall attempt and the ref sighs, then counts.
1…
2…
3…
The ref reluctantly calls for the bell and the crowd’s boos have grown to all time high.
JJ Adams: And Stephen Rawlings picks up another one folks.
Johnson McConnell: The ref is really starting to look like he is over this.
The ref stands up.
Zack Rhodes: No more, Rawlings. This is ridiculous.
Stephen Rawlings: What was that? This is MY fifteen minutes and you were assigned to me, so you do what I fucking tell you to!
Zack Rhodes: No, I’m done. This is a waste of time.
Stephen Rawlings: But six wins isn’t the record. I need to win the record.
Zack Rhodes: No. And if you push me further about this… I will start another match, and then disqualify you from it. This circus is over, Stephen! Get out of here.
Stephen Rawlings: No! This is my time… And if you won’t ref for me… I guess I’ll have to have Cross do it.
Cross stands up and pulls his shirt off revealing a referee shirt. He then calls for the bell and it rings.
JJ Adams: And the bell rings for another match.
Johnson McConnell: Wait, what? What is happening?
Jayden Skiles: I think Zack Rhodes just became an unwilling participant in Rawlings’s little game.
Stephen grabs Zack and flings him into the ropes. Zack catches himself, but then Rawlings grabs him and flings him towards Cross, who catches him with a clothesline. Rawlings then grabs ahold of Zack and lifts him up in a suplex hold and slams him to the ring. Without letting go, he performs another suplex, and then a third…. And a fourth.
Johnson McConnell: Come on now. Zack is not trained for this. Someone needs to come out here and stop this. He could get seriously hurt.
Stephen Rawlings performs one last suplex, this time turning it into a pin, and Cross goes down to count...
1.
2.
3.
Cross class for the bell.
JJ Adams: And Stephen is victorious yet again.
Johnson McConnell: Wow, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a faster count and I’ve been doing this for a long time.
Jayden Skiles: Give him a break. It’s his first time as a referee.
Stephen Rawlings jumps up in victory. Cross grabs his hand and raises it into the air. The crowd shows their appreciation with a booming roarious boo. Stephen kicks the ref a couple more times, and then the two wrestlers make their way to the back, joking and laughing the whole way. The crowd booing them as they leave.
Johnson McConnell: To say this was a misuse of Redemption air time is an understatement.
Jayden Skiles: Stephen is a smart man. He knew exactly what he was doing.
Johnson McConnell: Doesn’t make it right.
Johnson turns to JJ.
Johnson McConnell: And what do you have to say for yourself?
JJ Adams: Coming up next is the main event… Stay tuned.
Johnson McConnell: I hate you sometimes.
The camera fades.
Main Event
Tag Team Championship
Rikers Demolition Squad (c)
vs
Henhouse Slaughter
Adam Lowe: It’s time for our main event. This match tonight is one to be hyped over. It features Rikers Demolition Squad defending their tag titles against Henhouse Slaughter. This match was made on Twitter, after Henhouse made a case for being eliminated from the tag team battle Royal a few weeks ago. This led to Rikers offering them a title match tonight.
Highlights of the match show as Adam continues his commentary of it.
Adam Lowe: This was a fun match, with a lot of back and forth between the two teams. The fans seemed torn on who to root for so they just pooped for both teams. Toward the end of the match the fans were treated to a few near falls and false finishes that built the tension. Now let’s head to the ring at eighteen minute mark of this great match to show you how it all finished.
*****
Zeus hits a big boot on Fox. Then he lifts up the smaller competitor, drops him throat first across the top rope and hits a lariat to the back of the neck as he ricochets back. Then he tosses Rupert back to his corner and tags in Jupiter.
JJ Adams: Snake eyes and lariat combo and Zeus makes the tag.
Johnson McConnell: They’re doing a good job here of trying to isolate Rupert late in the match.
Jupiter comes into the ring and Rikers hit a double suplex. Jupiter covers.
JJ Adams: This could be it.
…1
…2
..Penbrook breaks up the pin.
Johnson McConnell: Penbrook saved his partner.
Jayden Skiles: He needs to get the tag in if they want to win those titles. He’s taking a beating in there.
Jupiter gets up, but when he does Penbrook hits him with a hip toss. Zeus comes rushing in, but with an impressive show of strength he catches him with a powerslam.
JJ Adams: Penbrook is dragging Fox to his corner.
Jayden Skiles: He’s itching to get in. Title matches don’t come all the time. Gotta do what you gotta do.
Penbrook tags himself in. He comes in hot as Jupiter is getting up. Penbrook spikes him with a DDT then follows it up with a seated senton.
JJ Adams: The big man comes in on a tear.
Johnson McConnell: He’s been on that apron chomping at the bit. Now he’s being unleashed.
Zeus has gotten back up at this point and grabs Eddie from behind and tosses him with a belly to back overhead suplex.
JJ Adams: Hawkins is threatening to DQ Zeus here.
Johnson McConnell: Of course he is. He’s not the legal man. If this wasn’t a title match he likely would have DQd him for that.
Jayden Skiles: Yeah, we’ll, I thought it was a smart move. They’ve got nothing to lose there.
Referee Dave Hawkins gets in Zeus’ face and orders him back to his corner. Zeus starts to argue with him, but Hawkins gets animated. Finally Zeus backs up to his corner.
JJ Adams: Order’s been restored.
Johnson McConnell: And listen to these fans. They’re living this match.
Behind this action, Jupiter and Penbrook are back up and trading punches back and forth. The crowd cheers on both. Then both run the ropes and rebound back; hitting each other with a double clothesline as both fall to the mat.
JJ Adams: The two men take each other out.
Johnson McConnell: It’s like two Mack trucks colliding in there.
Jayden Skiles: Either way, the referee is beginning his 10 count.
The referee gets to a 6 count when the crowd starts to rumble. Then Xander Maxwell and Xavier Cross, 2X, come over the guardrail through the crowd. Rupert notices and just as they do, he springboards from the middle rope and hits a moonsault, wiping out both men and himself in the process as they both crash through the rail and into the crowd.
JJ Adams: Rupert Fox just took out 2X before they could cost them the match.
Johnson McConnell: Yeah, but at what cost? Because while he did out a stop to 2X, he just took himself out and just Penbrook on his own.
Jayden Skiles: We’re about to find out the trickle effects because Zeus and Penbrook are getting up.
Back in the ring, Hawkins turns his attention back to the match. Both men are starting to get to their feet. Penbrook hits a forearm on Jupiter then whips him into the ropes.
JJ Adams: Blind tag. I don’t even thing Penbrook noticed.
When he comes back Penbrook gets him up on his shoulders, but then he’s caught by a spear from Jupiter.
JJ Adams: Penbrook had him ready for the Steamroller.
Johnson McConnell: He did, but then Jupiter speared him into next week.
Jupiter pops up with a roar. Then he hits a Jackhammer on Penbrook.
JJ Adams; Stainless Steel Ride.
Jupiter covers and Rupert is just recovering outside and trying to get in the ring as Hawkins counts.
…1
…2
…3!
Just as the referee slaps three, Fox breaks the pin, just milliseconds late. But before the celebration can begin, Boomer Johnson and Ryan Samuels come rushing down the ramp and climb in the ring. As they do Jupiter readies for them. Meanwhile Xander Maxwell slides into the ring from behind with a chair and slams the steel across the back of Fox. Jupiter glances at it, and it’s all Boomer needs to slam a cowbell on the end of a rope into the face of Jupiter.
The fans boo and start to toss trash into the ring as Cattle Drive Crew and 2X beat down Rikers and Henhouse as the show goes off the air.